Kaleidoscope
by deokjins
Summary: Ventus is lonely but wants companionship outside of the people he sees on a daily basis. He considers joining an online dating site and with the help of a few of his friends, ventures into the world of usernames and faceless conversations. After meeting a few people he comes across one person he can't seem to get enough of. (ch. 4 re-upped)
1. I: Hypothetical Questions

******KALEIDOSCOPE**

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**Summary:** Ventus is lonely but wants companionship outside of the people he sees on a daily basis; a dilemma that he labels with his own self-proclaimed prudiness. He's embarrassed at the idea, but considers joining an online dating site and with the help of a few of his friends, he begins his venture into the world of usernames and faceless conversations. After meeting a few people he comes across one person he can't seem to get enough of. Little does he know, it's the beginning of his own unhealthy obsession.

**Pairing:** Vanitas/Ventus (a bit of Axel/Roxas, Riku/Sora and Zexion/Demyx on the side, but not much)

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**Prologue**

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Ventus wasn't entirely sure what had possessed him to log into a chatroom. Hell, he wasn't even sure what had possessed him to even _consider_ logging into a chatroom. But now he was beginning to wonder if he was happy he did, or if he was starting to regret it.

If he had known that meeting the love of his life meant sacrificing his friendships, his relationship with his family, and his grade point average; if he had known things were going to end up the way they did, he would have reconsidered.

That meant he regretted it, didn't it?

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**I: ****Hypothetical Questions**

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He was in his second year of college, just a few weeks after the start of the first semester.

Amidst lectures, essays, parties, and being a teenager (supposedly having some kind of obligation to live his life to the fullest before it was too late or whatever society classified being a teenager as), the spaces in between needed filling. Simply having friends (not that he didn't love them to death) seemed so mundane. His twin brother Roxas was the socialite between the two of them despite the fact that they were both pretty well-known around campus. Roxas was just more straightforward about his thoughts and emotions; it was the reason he had landed himself a boyfriend by their freshman year in high school.

Bottom line, Ventus' game had always been sort of weak. He was the intellect, the designated driver, and the one who over-thought things to the point of annoying people around him. That and no one around him deemed him fit to date. Not that it bothered him... Much.

It was in the middle of a study session with the TV droning in the background that made him think about it. A commercial for some new dating service caught his attention (then again, anything could distract him from advanced calculus, and he was glad for that). It was extremely cliché and seemed way too good to be true; way too easy to "find a perfect match". But at the same time, he couldn't stop thinking about it.

And thinking about it...

_And thinking about it._

The thought of online dating made him nervous, which miffed him a little because he didn't get nervous (unless it involved public speaking or his brother driving too fast or his mother giving him that look that basically said his ass was grass). He'd heard plenty of stories of teenagers going missing after meeting people online and deciding to meet them in person, only to discover that they weren't at all what they described themselves to be. As much as stuff like that made him paranoid (almost to the point of having an irrational fear of strangers), he couldn't kill his curiosity.

Except... He had no idea how to go about online dating. If it weren't for his is dilemma, wanting companionship yet having no interest in anyone around campus (or possibly in the entire vicinity of where he lived and went to school), he wouldn't give the idea a second thought. Or a first thought.

He figured this was the only way he'd be able to find someone.

Asking his best friend Terra, who Ven saw as his own personal love guru (even though the older boy was having a hard time confessing to their other best friend, Aqua) was slightly awkward. He decided that going for the hypothetical question approach was his best bet to seem inconspicuous-you know, the kind where you try to make it seem like it's a friend asking for advice when it's actually you and you do a really shitty job of covering that fact? Yeah. Ventus didn't have any other choice, though. He was embarrassed enough at himself, he didn't need Terra, or anyone else for that matter, rubbing in the fact that he was considering doing something that he himself saw as silly.

...That made him a hypocrite, didn't it?

-—-—-

Both Ven and Terra had finished up for the day, pushing out of the lecture hall they'd spent the passed two hours in quickly to avoid doorway congestion. Ventus had brought up the subject of his hypothetical friend's dating life a few minutes before their lecture ended, blushing furiously when Terra had snorted at his hypothetical friend's question. He had played along as much as possible to steer the brunette away from thinking that it was him who wanted the advice.

"Alright, so lemme get this straight," Terra said, sliding his hands into his pants' pockets as they descended to the ground floor of the English building. "Your friend wants to try long-distance dating or...?" His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to process Ventus' fairly lame explanation consisting of a friend of his wanting to 'expand his dating horizons outside of the girls he saw around campus constantly'. Ven had only nodded, making a small sound of confirmation. If Terra was smart (which was honestly debatable sometimes), the reddish tinge Ven's face had taken on would be a dead giveaway that no, he wasn't speaking hypothetically, and no, he wasn't talking about a friend. Luckily, the older boy wasn't looking at him. "Doesn't he know that long-distance relationships are almost always doomed to fail?"

"Uh, yeah, he knows." Ven affirmed voice cracking in the process. His golden locks bounced a bit as he nodded, bright blue eyes downcast to the tiled flooring. "But he says that the girls on campus don't have what he's looking for. He's bored with them and wants something more...exciting?" He was starting to sound more and more idiotic to himself the longer he talked; he was never too good at improvising. Thankfully, Terra hadn't seemed to catch on yet. The brunette nodded slowly.

"So he goes to school with us," he concluded. As if the fact really needed concluding. Ventus resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Do I know him?" The blonde faltered the slightest bit. Again, the older boy didn't seem to notice.

"Yes," he answered truthfully. He knew that if he piled up the hypothetical friend's story (which was really just a huge-ass lie to conceal his inward embarrassment from one, asking about it in the first place, and two, asking _Terra_ of all people; he did feel kind of guilty, though), he'd lose his nerve and out himself. "You know him. He's in a few of our classes." _There. That wasn't a total lie,_ he told himself. Terra seemed to consider it, nodding some more. Ventus vaguely wondered if his friend was actually thinking or if he was just nodding like that to make him think he was thinking.

It was hard to tell with Terra.

"You said he wasn't interested in any of the girls on campus," the older boy stated. Ventus rose an eyebrow. What, did Terra enjoy restating things? "Has he tried boys? I mean, assuming he plays for both teams..." Ventus' other eyebrow joined the first, a small realization dawning on him.

_Wow, why didn't I think of that?_

_...Because I'm silly and ask Terra for hypothetical advice instead._

Ventus shook his head, preventing himself from getting too wrapped up in his own thoughts. It also doubled for answering Terra.

"No, he hasn't," he replied, eyebrows slightly furrowed. "He says he was thinking about trying online dating. Something about his curiosity getting the better of him." Terra's attention was on his cell phone as he listened to the blonde talk about his 'friend'; Ven was thankful because he was certain that if Terra were looking at him just then, he'd give himself away. Lying didn't usually make him nervous but the entire ordeal was making him jittery. Thank God he was able to keep his voice normal enough to conceal it.

"Online dating?" Terra asked, finally looking up from the device in his hand. "You mean like eHarmony or PlentyOfFish or whatever it's called?" Ventus immediately shook his head.

"More like chatrooms, I guess," he answered. He wasn't too sure at this point, but that sounded more his style. "My friend said he's more comfortable with anonymity, you know, to avoid stalkers and perverts and junk. He's paranoid. And he finds the idea of creating an online profile really embarrassing." What? It was the truth. Terra rose an eyebrow at him, stopping in front of the building's front exit.

"Your friend does know that that sort of thing is still dangerous anonymous or not, right?" the older boy asked. "I mean the whole stalker thing can still happen." Ventus nodded. He knew the risks were still there, he just wasn't too sure he wanted to put his face on the internet. "Besides, what's the difference between an online dating profile and his Facebook page? ...He does have a Facebook page, right?" Ven rolled his eyes bluer than blue eyes.

"Yes, he does," he answered, shoving the heavy door open. "He doesn't live in the Stone Age."

Stepping out into the blaring sunlight, Ventus shielded his face with his hand, immediately regretting wearing a long-sleeved shirt. The afternoon was warm for mid October; the weather had been playing tricks on the citizens of Twilight Town, casting its bi-polar syndrome over Hollow Bastion and probably Radiant Garden since they were all so close to one another. The fluctuating temperatures were starting to get to Ventus; the mornings would be chilly, and by afternoon, he'd have to loosen his tie or suffer in the sweater-vest he'd worn. _Why can't you dress like a normal teenager?_ Terra had asked him. _Why can't you just wear zip-up hoodies and t-shirts?_ Ventus had heatedly argued that one, he _was_ normal, and two, there was nothing wrong with the way he dressed. Besides, he wore short-sleeved polos every now and then. He just never happened to pick the appropriate day to wear them.

They walked in silence, Terra's attention back on his phone. This gave Ventus some time to think about Terra's previous question; has he tried boys. No, he hadn't, though he had considered boys at one point. He knew he was bisexual after an incident in high school revealed to him that boys aroused him just as much as girls did, if not, a little more. It was worth a shot.

"I'll pitch the idea to him," he finally said, picking up where they left off as the two boys made their way to the student parking lot, their footsteps slowing as they drew closer to Terra's small car. The older boy gave him a half-smile.

"You should pitch the idea to him before the party this weekend?" he suggested, walking to the driver's side. "Maybe he'll meet someone. Or talk to Roxas, maybe he knows someone who's in the same position." Ven wrinkled his nose (a habit he'd had since he was little). Why hadn't he just asked Roxas in the first place? _Because he'd laugh at your ass for a week, and remind you of this for the rest of your life_, he told himself bitterly. Oh yeah. And because Terra was a love guru.

_Right._

Said love guru peeked his head out of his lowered car window, giving Ven a small smile, "Lemme know how it goes, yeah?" Ventus returned the smile, nodding a bit before raising his fist and bumping it against Terra's gently. He wasn't sure when they'd decided brofisting would be their thing, but it had stuck since high school. "You're coming for movie night, right?"

"Yeah," the blonde replied, hitching his backpack higher onto his shoulder. "I'll ask Roxas if Sora and the others want to come too, but they probably will. I'll try and pick something up from the rental store on my way there." Terra gave him a thumbs up and pulled out of the lot, heading home to prepare for that night's festivities, leaving Ventus alone with his whirring thoughts.

He spotted his brother's car across the lot, identical to his. They'd gotten them on their sixteenth birthday—twin cars for twin boys. Ventus wondered briefly if there existed any cliché bigger than getting twins matching things. Of course there was; asking hypothetical questions about friends who wanted dating advice. Fighting a growing urge to groan at himself (because did he _really_ just do that?), he unlocked his car and got in, the small wind chimes hanging from his rear-view mirror jingling gently with the force of the door closing.

Pulling out of the student lot slowly, he couldn't help but think that asking Roxas straight-up might have helped more than asking Terra hypothetically. Sure, his brother would never let him live it down, but at least Ven knew his twin was reliable—a lot more so than Terra. After all, they had that whole twin-psychic-power thing down. He knew that even though his idea was silly (and the way he was going about it was even more silly) Roxas would understand.

Roxas always understood.

Roxas understood when he would put up his defenses against certain people, or when he was sad or angry. Roxas understood his little mannerisms like how he would play with his bottom lip when trying to make a decision, or lightly nip at his fingernails when he was apprehensive. Roxas understood all the little things about him, and Ventus understood the little things about Roxas. Like why he and Sora had matching tattoos on their left wrists, or the special significance his favourite Coldplay song held. But the fact of the matter was if Roxas could understand all of the little things and the things that made no sense and the things that made him and Ven their own people, he could understand that his brother was lonely.

But that probably still wouldn't stop him from laughing about it.

-—-—-

Ventus entered the small apartment he shared with Roxas and his best friend Sora (who could pass for their younger brother). The place was quiet, which meant that neither of the other inhabitants were home from school yet; he'd seen Roxas' car in the parking lot. _Duh, Ven_. He wrinkled his nose at himself. He had just enough time to eat, shower, and possibly start his homework before heading over to Terra's for movie night.

They'd managed to keep the tradtion alive since middle school, marking every other friday as their night to rent movies, pop an obnoxious amount of popcorn, and gorge themselves on junkfood and pop while trading commentaries. Ven was glad that the demanding life of a college sophomore hadn't stopped any of them from dropping everything and piling up on one of their couches, wasting hours watching movies they'd seen a million times before deciding on sleeping arrangements for the night. Just when it seemed like he never got to see enough of his friends, movie night brought everyone together again. He really did love having his friends around.

Discarding his shoes and backpack, he made a beeline for the kitchen, stomach growling softly. A pair of Toaster Strudels would be just enough to hold him over until he got to Terra's; he dropped two into the toaster. The time it took for him to shuffle around the small space to grab a plate, butter knife, and a glass was just enough time for his snack to finish heating up. He licked at his fingers as he spread the icing over the freshly-toasted pastries, eyes flickering towards the direction of the front door when he heard it unlock, loud voices emerging from the other side.

"Ven? Are you home?" Roxas' voice was clear over the commotion of him and whoever he brought with him taking their shoes off and migrating to the living room.

"Kitchen!" he called back, tossing the butter knife into the sink. He could vaguely hear Sora's voice overlapping a female voice as they continued their conversation without his twin. He was met with blonde hair and blue eyes that matched his own as he waited for Roxas to appear from around the corner, returning the smile he got.

"Breakfast at four in the afternoon?" the younger twin asked, amused. Ven only shrugged, biting at a strudel before answering.

"Just something until I go to Terra's later," he said, chewing and holding the pastry out to his brother. Roxas took the bait, biting off the corner Ven had left behind and licking the excess icing from his lips. "It's movie night; are you and Sora coming?" His brother's eyebrows raised a little.

"That's tonight?" he asked, taking another bite to which Ventus just told him to take the damn thing because he's "perfectly capable of feeding himself".

"Mhm," Ven answered. "He said the others are welcome if they wanna tag along." He gave his brother glance, eyebrows raising the slightest bit in expectation before turning away to put his plate in the sink. "I'm heading over there in a few hours so if you can't decide now, think about it for a while."

"Think about what?" came Sora's questioning tone, the brunette bounding into the kitchen with his eyes slightly wide. He leaned against the counter, legs crossing at the ankles. Ventus had to wonder how the hell Sora wasn't related to them.

"Movie night," Roxas answered. "It's at Terra's tonight." Sora's face brightened up a bit.

"Yeah? What movies are we watching?" Ventus took that as his answer. If Sora wanted to go, everyone was going one way or another; that's just how the brunette was.

"I don't know what Terra's got, but I said I'd pick something up on the way there," the oldest (by a staggering three and a half minutes) said. "I guess we-meaning whoever you decide to bring-can all pick something out and then decide what to watch when we get there..." Sora pursed his lips, nodding a bit.

"Well, Kairi's in the living room, so I'll ask her if she wants to come," he said. "And I'll call Riku and ask him too."

"I'll bring Axel," Roxas added. "And he'll probably bring Demyx, who'll bring Zexion, who might bring someone else to suffer the wrath of being around Sora and Demyx while they're hyped up on sugar." Ven cracked a small smile, making a mental note to try and keep the sugary stuff away from said two offenders. It was never a pretty sight when Sora was hyper, and Demyx seemed to be on a permanent sugar high all the time anyway.

"Hey, I'm not that bad when I'm hyper," Sora insisted, a pout in place on his pink lips. Roxas snorted.

"Dude, the last time we let you have too much candy, you laughed during Mufasa's death scene," Roxas stated. "And then you laughed for about seven minutes afterwards. Continuously."

"Demyx laughed too!"

"You usually cry at that part."

"...No I don't."

"So it's settled then," Ventus concluded after downing a glass of milk. "Movie night is on."

"It's a go-go!" Sora exclaimed, his smile almost literally stretching from ear to ear. "Lemme go ask Kairi if she's game." The twins shared amused glances as the brunette practically ran into the other room, Roxas shaking his head a bit.

Turning to the sink a final time, Ventus felt a sudden heat run into his cheeks. He'd almost forgotten about his whole hypothetical-friend-who-wants-dating-advice predicament. Well, it wasn't really a predicament, but... He knew he'd have to come out with it sometime or another, and he wasn't looking forward to the possibility of Terra letting it slip while everyone else was around.

"Hey Rox...?" He began, his back still turned to his twin. He could hear him rummaging through the cupboards in search of a snack. Said twin turned to look at his brother, an eyebrow raising.

"Yeah?" Roxas narrowed his eyes a little. What was with the sudden change in atmosphere? His brother was suddenly keeping himself hidden, his shoulders slightly hunched as he leaned against the counter. Something was up. "You okay, Ven?" The older of the two just heaved a sigh.

Now Roxas really knew something was up.

"I wanted to ask you something," Ven started. "But you have to promise that you won't laugh at me." Roxas rose an eyebrow and leaned against the counter, opening the Jell-o pudding cup he'd settled on having. He watched his twin turn to him slowly before busying himself with getting him a spoon to which he mumbled a small "thanks".

Ven hesitated. He could hear Sora and Kairi in the other room, but still lowered his voice. He didn't want anyone else knowing about him asking Terra for dating advice.

"I asked Terra for dating advice," he murmured, although the amused look his brother was giving him was a clear indication that he'd been heard.

"And?" he said, waiting to hear more. Ventus frowned.

"And nothing," he said. Roxas' face dropped before he rose an eyebrow again. "Well, I didn't ask him directly. I mean... I said it was a friend who was asking. Err well, I started the whole thing off with "hypothetically speaking" but I'm sure he didn't catch on and-"

"...YOU REALLY DID THAT?" Roxas' sudden outburst made Ventus flinch while he rambled, a dark flush creeping above the collar of his sweater.

"Augh! See, this is why I didn't want to say anything!" he practically wailed before remembering that he didn't want to catch Sora's attention from the other room. "God, this is so embarrassing!" A deep blush was set in his normally pale cheeks, eyes downcast under eyebrows furrowed in frustration. Roxas snorted softly, sucking on his spoon before sticking it back into his pudding cup. "YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T LAUGH!"

"Alright, alright," the younger twin said, holding his hands up in defense. "Why don't you tell me the whole story because I know for a fact that there's nothing in the world that can make you desperate enough to think that you should ask Terra of all people before talking to me about it."

Ven glanced up at his brother before finding a spot on the floor to stare at. He was already beyond humiliated, might as well get the whole story out to save himself from having to do it again later. He knew that once he started, Roxas would be determined to get it out of him.

"Well, I was doing my homework about a week ago and a commercial for this new dating service came on," he started. He was almost certain that Roxas was smiling at him. Amused blue eyes bore into his forehead as he held his head down. "It made me start thinking about well, my love life. Or lack thereof..."

"So what?" Roxas asked. "You wanna try one of those dating services or something? Ven, that's a little silly." No one knew that to be true more than Ventus himself. He felt like an idiot for even giving the commercial a second glance.

"I know that," the older twin said, his voice shrinking the slightest bit. He lifted his head, deep blue meeting the same deep blue for a split second before he diverted his gaze again. "It's just... You have Axel and Sora has Riku, and... I'm lonely, Rox." He sighed and turned away again at the feel of this throat constricting. He hated crying in front of his brother, even though he was usually the only person he did it in front of to begin with.

Another shaky sigh left him before he slumped against a chest, arms as slight as his own circling his middle.

"I know," Roxas said, nuzzling at his brother's nape. "I can tell. I see it when we're all together." He squeezed Ventus against him, his nose brushing along the side of his neck as he rested his chin on his shoulder. Ven let out a small chuckle. A slightly bitter one.

"I guess it's my own fault," he decided. "I'm too picky." Roxas chuckled too, his sounding more dismissive than anything else.

"You're not picky," he assured his brother, his breath warm against Ventus' skin. "You just know that you deserve the best." Ventus sighed again.

"How will I even know what the best is?" he asked, bringing a hand up to his mouth. Roxas smiled at his brother's nervous habit. He leaned his body weight against Ventus', his hands sliding to his hips.

"Trust me; you'll know it when you see it, and clearly you don't see it around here. There's no harm in looking, right?" Ventus only sighed again (how many times was that now?), but nodded slowly, letting himself be turned in this brother's hold, eyes closed. Roxas pressed his forehead to his, eliciting a small sound from him.

This was probably Ventus' favourite part about being a twin. Twins always seemed to share an intimacy that siblings with different ages never did. It was times like this, with Roxas comforting him, that helped him get through some of the tougher things he faced in previous years. And he knew he did the same for his brother.

"Tell you what," Roxas started again. "After movie night, and after Demyx's party tomorrow, we'll talk. About everything. Okay?" Ventus nodded, finally opening his eyes. Blue searched blue.

"You'll help, right?" he asked. "I mean, Terra suggested asking you 'cause you might know if there's anyone available. I guess he figured you'd know my type best or something." Roxas laughed softly.

"You don't have a type," he stated. "And any advice Terra has to give you is invalid until he can take care of his Aqua problem. But yes, I'll help. It sucks seeing my other half so beaten up over this sort of thing." He touched their noses together lightly before pulling Ventus against him in a light hug, shifting to rest his cheek against his shoulder. Ventus leaned against his brother, his arms twining around his twin's neck as he hid his face in the crook.

"...I love you, Rox."

"I love you too, Ven."

They pulled away slowly, Roxas brushing his lips against the corner of his brother's mouth before smiling softly. Ven smiled back weakly, rubbing at his eyes stubbornly before following Roxas into the other room, their pinkies linked.

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**A/N:** my first kingdom hearts fic yay. a lot of this is based on my own experiences (although skewed in some aspects, but i don't think that's important). i have this theory that sora and demyx need to be monitored on how much sugar they consume at any given time because well... i also have a thing for the idea of roxas/ventus twincest so yeah i'm gonna write in as much as i possibly can huhu. and i guess i feel a little bad for making terra seem like an idiot sorta but groups always have that one sort of dim-witted friend right? so yeah, that's terra's fate in this fic orz.


	2. II: Movie Night

**KALEIDOSCOPE**

* * *

**Summary:** Ventus is lonely but wants companionship outside of the people he sees on a daily basis; a dilemma that he labels with his own self-proclaimed prudiness. He's embarrassed at the idea, but considers joining an online dating site and with the help of a few of his friends, he begins his venture into the world of usernames and faceless conversations. After meeting a few people he comes across one person he can't seem to get enough of. Little does he know, it's the beginning of his own unhealthy obsession.

**Pairing:** Vanitas/Ventus (a bit of Axel/Roxas, Riku/Sora and Zexion/Demyx on the side, but not much)**  
**

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**II: Movie Night **

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Ventus' thoughts about his current self-conflict, of which he suddenly became unsure if it was even about being embarrassed over wanting to try online dating as a whole anymore the more he thought about it, were pushed to the back burner on the stove of his mind for the sake of getting ready for movie night.

Sora had called Riku and had the silver-haired teen confirm that he wanted to join in and was on his way to the apartment. Roxas had gotten a hold of Axel and told him to meet them at the video store around five-thirty before heading to Terra's place for the night, confirming that Demyx and Zexion would be accompanying him. Kairi agreed to join them after canceling after school plans with her friend Selphie, waving the whole ordeal off with a "I'll see her later tonight".

Movie night always seemed to be a huge deal, and it had been in retrospect. None of them could remember a single time when they hadn't be over-excited to spend a night in the company of their friends, especially now with conflicting school schedules, part-time jobs, and whatever other responsibilities came with transitioning into adulthood that cut the seemingly endless time they spent together in middle school and high school short.

Ventus could still remember the days when it had been just him, Terra, and Aqua camping out in one of their living rooms after extensive movie marathons. Roxas would hang around when their place had been the rendezvous and eventually began tagging along (sometimes with Axel) when Ven would go to one of his friends' places instead. Sora joined in somewhere along the line, which got Riku involved and eventually everyone began devoting their alternating Fridays to the tradition so long as they were up to it. Terra and Aqua didn't seem to mind the extra company, much to Ven's relief. He would've hated it if everyone hadn't gotten along.

"I'll need an overnight bag," Kairi said, her eyebrows furrowing a bit. "I was planning to go straight to Selphie's after we finished up at Terra's since I did actually make plans with her first... Can one of you drive me?" She glanced between the three boys, eyes hopeful.

"I'll take you," Roxas volunteered, raising his hand. "It's better that Sora's around when Riku gets here, and Ven told me he wanted to get a jump start on his homework so he wouldn't be swamped on Sunday night." It wasn't a complete lie. He knew Kairi pretty well despite the fact that she was closer to Sora than either of the blondes. But he knew that if Sora didn't drive her, Kairi would ask Ven, and Roxas was sure that his brother wasn't up to driving anywhere at the moment (if the distant look that Roxas knew meant Ven was lost in his own thoughts was any indication). The auburnette stood from her seat on the couch, lifting her bag and slinging it over her shoulder.

"Sounds good to me," she agreed, heading for the door. "See you guys later." Ventus ambled after them to lock up as they left, but not before making his twin promise to drive carefully (to which Roxas rolled his eyes but agreed). He retrieved his backpack and headed to his room at the end of the hall, bypassing Sora in the kitchen and shutting the door silently. He could hear the brunette whistling an upbeat tune as he bounded down the hall to his own room. The sound of things being tossed around could immediately be heard through the walls, making Ven smile to himself. Only Sora.

He deposited his backpack next to his desk, catching sight of the blaring infrared numbers of his alarm clock residing on the bedside table. There were still a few hours before Terra would be expecting them over. In the meantime, Ventus had managed to pack overnight bags for himself and Roxas, shower, and start his homework like he had wanted to, using his iPod for background noise lest he find himself in another dating service commercial situation. His brother had already told him that they would talk about it; there was no point in letting himself be plagued by his own thoughts. Not anymore than he already was, anyway. His only concern now was hoping Terra wouldn't bring it up while they everyone was crammed together in his living room.

The thought made the blonde smile.

He couldn't wait. Even if he almost forgot about it sometimes, movie night was probably the one occasion that he anticipated aside from his birthday (which had actually gotten significantly less exciting over the last few years). That and Spring Break—another time in which he got to spend an unhealthy amount of time with his friends.

This year they had planned to drive out to Destiny Islands; a place that Sora had recommended after annual visits with his family while growing up. Just him, his brother, their closest friends, and an entire week spent in the company of clear skies, the beach, and the ocean. That was the plan, anyway. Ven couldn't help but feel a little guilty for not being able to pitch in as much as some of the others since he didn't work or have much money saved up. Roxas had dismissed his tiny bout of self-loathing by insisting that everyone would take a turn driving and in turn help pay for gas. To this day, Ventus had to wonder if his twin meant it for his relief, or because Roxas would be taking his car as well.

...But Ventus couldn't stop his thoughts from wandering.

If everyone was going, that would mean everyone would be paired off. What better way to spend your Spring Break than indulging in an island paradise with your lover?_ I'll probably be the only one alone_, he thought bitterly. He let out a sigh, eyes unfocused on the work in front of him before rubbing at his face.

He lost track of time, attempting to distract himself with calculus formulas, literary devices, and analyzing written works before his room door opened silently. His attention didn't shift, the work of Coleridge's _Christabel_ keeping him less than interested until he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. The touch nor the voice nor the feeling of another presence coming into the room soundlessly made the him flinch. That's how he knew it was Roxas. Even if someone else might spook him, his brother never did.

"The others are here," the younger of the two said softly. Ven could barely hear his twin's voice over the music in his ears despite the low volume. He tugged one of his earphones out and turned in his desk chair, looking up into the cerulean eyes that matched his own. They looked concerned.

"They're ready to go?" he asked, wrapping the cord of earphones around his MP3 player and discarding it on his desk. He'd heard Roxas and Kairi come back some time ago between transitioning songs. Roxas nodded, flaxen locks shifting the slightest bit with the movement, his eyes still holding that concerned look.

"Yeah," he confirmed. "There's five of us including you and I." He watched idly as his twin shuffled around the room, gathering his wallet and keys before slipping on a pair of sneakers. "It'll probably be a tight fit into one of our cars." Ventus only nodded as he handed off one of the packed messenger bags to his twin. Roxas smiled his thanks, though he couldn't shake the feeling that something was bothering his brother. Not wanting to touch on the subject they discussed earlier, Roxas made to leave the room, stopping again when Ven didn't follow and turning to him with a risen eyebrow.

"Thanks, Rox," the older said softly. "For driving Kairi... It would've been hard for me to say no. But I was thinking too much about what we talked about before and..." The younger's face softened and reached a hand out to clasp around his brother's wrist, tugging him into a loose hug which Ven returned immediately.

"Well, you can use movie night as a distraction," Roxas replied. "No more thinking about it tonight, okay?" Ventus only nodded, keeping his gaze on Roxas'. His brother's eyes spoke volumes to the younger twin. The gentle squeeze that Roxas gave his wrist eased Ventus' lingering thoughts of his loneliness and idiotic approach to figuring out how to deal with it out of his mind slowly, leaving nothing but the anticipation of a movie marathon and endless junk food. For now.

-—-—-

The best part about movie night was definitely getting to their destination, at least when it was a place other than their own. Greetings were given as Ven and Roxas emerged from down the hall, everyone seemingly equally excited about disregarding their school assignments and other responsibilities for the weekend.

A game of Rock, Paper, Scissors had determined whose car they took.

"We're stopping at the video store, so if you have anything you wanna see, you better look for it," Ven advised as he pulled his seat belt over his chest. "Also, sorry that my car's so small." He glanced at the others sandwiched in the back seat. Roxas and Kairi were squished against the doors, on either side of Sora who filled in the middle. Riku had emerged the victor in a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors for the passenger's seat. The brunette had yet to stop squirming around, his thigh pressed up against Roxas' in a way that made the blonde glad that they were already so comfortable with each other.

They hadn't even pulled out of the apartment parking lot yet before...

"Can you close your legs, you're taking up too much space."

"We won't be in the car for very long anyway."

"Stop moving around!"

"Sorry, I can't get comfortable."

"You guys look really uncomfortable..."

"You think?"

"Can we just go please," Roxas pleaded. "I think my hip is starting to bruise against this damn door."

Ven didn't need to be told twice. Switching the car into reverse, he headed in the direction of the video store.

"Do you guys have any idea what you wanna see?" Sora asked from the back seat. "I mean, if what you said about me getting hyper and laughing during Mufasa's death scene is true, maybe we should skip out on The Lion King. I feel all kinds of ashamed just knowing that it happened." Roxas snorted in unison with his brother, glancing at the other blonde off of the rear-view mirror. They shared a knowing look.

"Or we can just keep you away from any and all candy," the younger blonde said as the car made a left-hand turn. "I think you're worse when you're hyper than you are when you're drunk, you know." The brunette all but pouted as he slumped in his seat, sticking his tongue out at Riku when the older boy chuckled at him.

"I think we should all pick something and then decide what to watch once we're at Terra's," Ventus said, slowing at a red light. "That's easier than trying to pick one thing and agreeing on it."

"So try not to pick out anything like you did last time," Riku said with an amused tinge to his voice. "I think if we end up watching anything like Lady and the Tramp again, Axel will actually set something on fire out of boredom."

"I'm sure Terra wouldn't appreciate that," Ventus mused.

"Alright, alright no Disney movies," Sora practically fumed, scrunching up his face. He couldn't hold it though, not with Riku ruffling his hair and giving him that half-smile that made the brunette's insides melt, topped off with an amused chuckle.

Pulling into the parking lot in front of the small plaza that housed the video store, Demyx's car was immediately noticeable. Aside from the peeling paint job that he "hadn't gotten around to fixing yet", Axel's bright red hair could be seen through the passenger side window. The space beside them was empty and Ventus pulled in, unlocking the doors and wincing at his twin's colourful choice of words upon all but falling out of the car.

"It's about time," Demyx shouted, his arms flailing a bit as he rounded the back of his car practically pouncing on Zexion as the smalled boy emerged from the back seat. "We've been waiting for forever."

Typical of Demyx to exaggerate.

"Sorry about that," Ventus said, rubbing at the back of his hair. "That's probably my fault. You know, my cautious driving and whatnot."

"It's no big deal," Axel brushed the issue off easily, slinging an arm around Roxas' shoulders. "Demyx is exaggerating anyway. We've only been here for maybe ten minutes." He completely missed the barely-there split-second mix of emotions that flittered across the older blonde's face before his gaze fell elsewhere.

But Roxas didn't.

"C'mon guys, let's get some movies!" Sora beckoned, pulling Riku with one hand and Kairi with the other. Pulling his face into a gentle smile, shifting his thought process to the present moment, Ventus followed, feeling a light tap on his wrist as Roxas and Axel moved passed him and went into the small store.

The video store was one of Ventus' favourite places. The atmosphere was always so comforting, but he wasn't exactly sure why. Maybe it was because he'd been going there every other Friday night since he was thirteen years old. To him it held the same feeling of warmth and familiarity as the comic book store that his parents would take him and Roxas to every year on their birthday, or the book store that smelled of coffee and scented candles that he went to by himself every once in a while.

Reason number one why Ventus loved the video store: nostalgia.

The store hadn't changed much over the years; he, Terra, and Aqua were quickly acquainted with the place since Terra's cousin Leon worked there. Sometimes Leon manned the counter, and sometimes Cloud did, and Aeris usually helped around the aisles if people couldn't find what they were looking for, but it was rare that any of them weren't working when they visited. They had always made it their personal duty to cause trouble for the three older teens, at least until their interest shifted onto actually renting movies and not tormenting the employees.

"Well look who's here," a familiar voice called out as they entered the small store, the bell above the door jingling to signal their arrival. "Long time no see, kids," Leon said, leaning against the counter. He looked almost exactly the same as he did as far back as Ventus could remember, though his hair had gotten shaggier over the years. Cloud and Aeris were nowhere to be seen.

"It's only been two weeks," Ventus said, smiling over a row of DVDs in the science-fiction section. Kairi was right behind him, heading to the aisle marked "ROMANCE SECTION", the others going their separate ways. Leon shrugged a bit.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in a long time... Maybe Cloud had the register the last time you were here," he mused. "Oh well, all I know is that it's good to see you guys haven't given up your little tradition after all this time." Ventus had to agree. He didn't see his older friends as much as he used to thanks to their school schedules, but he was glad that that hadn't stopped them from putting time aside for their sacred Friday nights.

"It's an excuse for all of us to say screw school and everything else and just hang out," Demyx piped up, peering over Zexion's shoulder as the smaller male read the synopsis of some fantasy movie. The small amused sound that came out of the shorter male had _since when do you care about school?_ written all over it.

Ventus sifted through the titles on the shelf quickly, everything being something he'd already seen and didn't care to see again, or something that wasn't able to hold his interest. Until...

"Alien Vs. Predator?" Ven didn't need to look to know that Roxas had appeared beside him again, feeling his twin rub shoulders with him before skimming over some of the other movie titles in front of them. "Sounds good to me." It was times like this that Ventus appreciated the similar interests he and Roxas shared, since there weren't too many. Conveniently enough, movie genres was one of the things they agreed on almost completely. "I'll just look for something Axel might like—something with over-exaggerated explosions and nudity." The younger blonde's nonchalant tone and contradicting smirk made the older blonde snicker softly.

"Guys, I can't decide between Spider Man and the Hulk," Sora whined from the action section, Riku at his side. It was surprising that he wasn't in the cartoon or kids' section even though he'd been banned from choosing another Disney movie. The two aisles were practically reserved for him.

"Just get both," Roxas said. "Ven and I will split the cost."

"That's hardly fair. You two are already driving," Kairi said, her eyebrows furrowed in a slight frown as she rounded the row of movies with her final choice in hand.

"Someone else can buy the snacks then," Axel stepped in. "Our resident blondes don't need to be breaking their twin bank accounts."

"So you volunteer then," Roxas stated, rather than asked, with a risen eyebrow.

"I didn't agree to that," Axel said, crossing his arms. The blonde glared up at his boyfriend; a look that many saw. Even Ventus knew it well. His brother's I-may-be-little-but-I'm-authoritative look. The same look that often got Axel to do a lot things he "didn't agree to". Roxas could be a little scary sometimes.

"Take Sora and Demyx with you. Try not to let them put the entire store in the basket." The fiery redhead exhaled sharply, flaring his nostrils before turning and heading out the door, Sora and Demyx on his heels. Zexion rolled his eyes and followed them out, either to prevent Axel from killing one of the other boys or to mediate their purchases.

"Is this everything?" Leon asked, looking over the stack of DVDs as Ventus set them down on the counter. The blonde nodded, reaching for his wallet, noticing his brother doing the same.

Reason number two why Ventus loved the video store: discounts for being frequent—and favoured—customers. Not that the discounts were actually evoked by the store but... "Well since I know you guys pretty well and it's been a while since I've seen you, I'll cut you some slack; how about a two-for-five deal? That makes your total twenty dollars." Ven and Roxas both nodded as they handed the money over to Leon before watching him bag their rentals. His face suddenly got serious, steely eyes staring the group of teenagers down.

"You know the drill," the brunette said, following his manager's instructions stating that he had to remind every customer of the return policy. "No later than two weeks or you'll suffer from late fees." The way he said "late fees" and wiggled his fingers made them all smile. "Don't tell my boss about the discount."

"Our lips are sealed," Kairi promised.

"Thanks Leon," Ventus said with a smile. "Tell Cloud and Aeris we said hi." Leon nodded and smiled softly in return, watching them exit.

Reason number three why Ventus loved the video store: it was right next to a convenience store. Easy access to lots of junk food without having to drive all over the place. The four friends made the ten-foot trek along the cracked pavement and were immediately able to spot Axel and the others upon entry.

"What else should we get?" Sora asked, wandering down one of the small aisles. Demyx followed, a disgruntled Axel ambling behind with a mute Zexion at his side. Roxas shuffled behind his boyfriend, muttering a quick "fix your face", accompanied by a less-than-gentle kick to the butt.

"I think you've got enough crap in there to last you until Halloween next year, Sora," Riku said with a small chuckle. The brunette scrunched up his face gently before shrugging.

"Maybe you're right," he said, dropping one last thing into the basket in Axel's hand.

Making his way towards them, Ven veered into one of the aisles, picking up a few things; chocolate-covered raisins for Aqua, Twizzlers for Terra, and a large bag of Swedish Berries for him and his brother to share.

"I'll pay for these myself," he said, glancing up at the tall redhead, "seeing as how you've got about half the store to pay for." Axel flared his nostrils again.

"You kids are just lucky I like you," he grumbled as he set the basket on the counter in front of the cashier.

Within a few minutes they left the store with a total of five bags of junk—surprisingly less than what was initially predicted—and were back in their cars (Roxas making the switch into Demyx's car), on their way to Terra's.

-—-—-

Terra's apartment was closer to the college. The rows of identical town homes rented out by students living off-campus were becoming more frequent the closer they got. A weird tightening feeling was embedding itself in Ventus' stomach as they approached their destination, thoughts of his earlier conversation with the older brunette boy invading his mind. He could only hope to God that Terra wouldn't say anything. Although it was most likely, he didn't want Roxas to have to keep bailing him out of situations that may or may not be revolving around a childish curiosity with underlying romantic issues.

It was one of those things where the less people knew about it, the easier it was to deal with.

Meeting up with the others in the parking lot behind the building Terra lived in, they filed inside and crammed themselves into the tiny elevator.

The older brunette boy was welcoming to the eight people crowded around his doorway when the bell rang, standing aside to hold the door open as they filed into the three-bedroom suite. Ventus entered the main area first, being greeted by a beaming Aqua who enveloped him in a tight hug before smiling to the others as they appeared.

"I see you didn't pack light," Terra said in an amused tone, taking in the sight of Ven and Roxas with their overnight bags slung over their shoulders and more than half the group with plastic bags filled with junk food.

"How do you pack light for movie night?" Ventus asked before dumping his bag into a vacant corner of the living room. "That's unheard of." He smiled at his older friend as he only gave a shrug in response, taking the bag of rentals from the blonde. He looked them over quickly before handing them to Aqua so she could see. So far, he hadn't seemed to even remember their earlier conversation. Ventus was grateful.

The blonde stood back and watched as everyone shuffled into the slowly crowding space, following his actions and piling their belongings with his. Although he and Roxas were brothers and inevitably shared the same circle of friends, he was closer with the two older teens in their own world on the other side of the room. He had known them first and spent more time with them during high school than with his brother and the others. Even his relationship with Sora was lesser than Roxas', and they all lived together. But that didn't stop him from considering the brunette one of his best friends.

It was nice to see everyone together.

Terra had taken it upon himself to choose the first movie and was busy setting it up while everyone else worked out seating arrangements. Kairi had found her way to one of the three large bean bag chairs situated near the entertainment system and started dumping the sweets onto the low coffee table while Aqua supplied drinks before taking a seat on the floor next the auburnette, shouting a loud "thank you" to Ven for the chocolate-covered raisins. Axel took up residence on the wide couch while Sora and Riku and Demyx and Zexion situated themselves on the remaining bean bags. Naturally, Terra claimed the recliner near the window, leaving Ven to half the couch for himself. Ventus leaned against his twin and a smile broke out on his face.

"I love it when we get together like this," he said, his tone hushed as he watched the scene in front of them.

"We've got a great group of friends," Roxas reasoned, nodding more to himself than to his twin. The younger nudged his brother gently before grabbing his wrist, tugging him towards their friends and pulling him to sit on the couch. Ventus made it his goal to get through the night without letting his thoughts get the better of him and spoil his mood.

Roxas' pinky wrapped securely around his own was enough to keep him from feeling lonely in a room filled with people.

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**A/N:** ...vanitas is coming i swear.


	3. III: Bittersweet

**KALEIDOSCOPE**

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******Pairing:** Vanitas/Ventus (a bit of Axel/Roxas, Riku/Sora and Zexion/Demyx on the side, but not much)

**Summary:** Ventus is lonely but wants companionship outside of the people he sees on a daily basis; a dilemma that he labels with his own self-proclaimed prudiness. He's embarrassed at the idea, but considers joining an online dating site and with the help of a few of his friends, he begins his venture into the world of usernames and faceless conversations. After meeting a few people he comes across one person he can't seem to get enough of. Little does he know, it's the beginning of his own unhealthy obsession.

**A/N:** thank you to those who have left reviews for me! i'm always a little apprehensive about letting people read what i write, mostly because i'm one of two people i know of who write kh fics. i'm glad that there's someone out there who enjoys reading the things i think up.

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**III: Bittersweet  
**

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Movie night had gone on as per usual.

The ten young adults crowded together in Terra's living room had indulged in fictitious worlds and dubious plots for a little over six hours straight, the clock hanging above the entertainment center reading 12:17 AM.

Demyx, Zexion, and Axel had decided not to spend the night; Demyx had been planning to throw a Halloween party the following night since the actual holiday landed on a weekday that year. Last-minute preparations needed to be made. Kairi left to go to Selphie's after the first movie was finished, and Riku and Sora had gone back to the apartment after the fourth movie, knowing they'd have the place to themselves for the night.

That left the twins, Terra, and Aqua in the apartment.

"Anyone up for another movie, or are we calling it quits?" Terra asked, ready to put another DVD in. Aqua yawned from her spot sprawled on a beanbag chair, blue eyes blinking slowly.

"Whatever you want to do, Terra," she answered quietly. She was on the verge of falling asleep. "But I think I'm gonna head in." The four of them glanced around at each other before three pairs of eyes fell on the bluenette girl. She stretched a little before picking herself up from the floor before she passed out right there. "Sleep well when you do, guys." She ruffled Ventus' hair on her way out of the room.

"Good night," Terra said, his voice soft. He gave his friend a small smile. It took all of the twins' will power to laugh or make snarky comments. Or both simultaneously. They watched as Aqua turned and smiled at the brunette before disappearing behind the wall closing the living room off from the hallway.

They waited until the audible click of the bluenette's door closing reached their ears.

"Dude, you got it bad," Roxas said with an amused smile directed at the older boy. Terra's eyebrows furrowed and he stared at the younger twin, arms crossing over his muscled chest.

"Excuse me?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. Roxas smirked at his brother's friend, standing from the couch and stretching a little. Normally Ventus might have stopped Roxas from talking for fear of his little brother saying something that struck too many nerves, but this was actually way too amusing. He just barely stifled a laugh.

"You've got it bad," he repeated, jutting a finger in the direction that Aqua left in, "for Aqua, I mean." Terra paled a bit, blue eyes narrowing.

"What makes you say that?" he asked, retreating to the recliner by the window.

"You were watching her more than the movies," Ven supplied. "I honestly don't know why you haven't asked her out yet." Terra glared at his friend over the top of the pop can tilted to his lips. Ventus just gave him a smug grin. "Honestly Terra, there's no reason for her to reject you." The older boy diverted his gaze.

"There are plenty of reasons," he said, his lips pressed in a tight line. "I made a list once; I have no idea what happened to it, though." Ventus rose an eyebrow at his friend. Was he serious?

"Are you serious?" Roxas asked, mirroring his brother's look. "You actually sat down and listed reasons why Aqua wouldn't want to date you?" The brunette nodded mutely before taking another sip of his drink.

"I think reason number one was living together," he drawled. "If we date and then break up, the prospect of continuing to live together is screwed completely. I think I'd rather have her around and keep my feelings to myself than possibly fucking up and having her leave." Ventus nodded a bit, running a hand through his hair.

"Good point," he said softly. "But at the same time, you can't let this eat you from the inside out, man. I know how long you've been wanting to tell her." Terra just shrugged, looking anywhere but at his friend. "I get what you're saying, but if you keep going like this, you'll be in love with her forever; you'll be stuck."

"I've dated other girls, Ven," the brunette said with a risen eyebrow. "I can still date other girls. I still have a chance."

"You sound like you're dying from a terminal disease and running out of time or something," Roxas commented, eyebrows furrowed a bit. Ventus nudged his brother's shoulder in slight warning, to which Roxas shot him an annoyed look. "All I'm saying is don't be so dramatic; it's not that hard to tell someone you love them." Ventus snorted.

"Says the guy who couldn't say said phrase to his boyfriend for about two and a half months," he said, barely holding back an amused laugh at the look the younger twin gave him.

"That was about timing!" Roxas all but shouted, lowering his voice when he remembered that Aqua was trying to sleep. "This is totally different." Ventus nodded in that sarcastic _yeah-okay-I-totally-believe-your-bullshit_ way. "It is!"

"Stop yelling, you fool," Ventus said with a laugh. "I think it's time we go to bed anyway. Don't wanna have bags under your eyes for Dem's party, do you? I know you're not going as a zombie this year." Roxas rolled his eyes, but complied anyway, slinging an arm around his brother's shoulder, Ven's arm automatically circling his waist. "You should rest too, Terra. It's no use thinking yourself into a bout of insomnia."

"Look who's talking," Roxas murmured. Ventus didn't hear him.

"Yeah," Terra said, looking up after spacing out for a good five minutes. He picked himself up off of the recliner and looked around at the mess they'd left. "I'll clean up in the morning or something. You remember where the guest room is, right?" How could he possibly forget?

"Terra you live in a single-level apartment," Ventus deadpanned.

"You could've just said yes, you smartass," Terra retorted. The taller boy laughed a little, nodding and disappearing down the hall towards his bedroom. "Leave a note when you leave or something. G'night." Ventus rolled his eyes a little before pulling Roxas across the room with him to turn the light off.

The twins made their way down the hall, opposite the direction Terra and Aqua had both gone in, arms wrapped around one another still. Ventus sighed, suddenly feeling fatigued and rested his head against his brother's. Roxas squeezed his shoulder before letting his arm slide around Ven's waist, squeezing there too. He opened the door to the guest room and waddled them inside, closing the wooden barrier behind them.

Ventus pulled away from his brother long enough to flick on the light, eyes looking around the small room. He could remember when the guest room had first came into existence; Aqua had upgraded from a double to a queen-sized a few months after moving in with Terra but didn't want to throw out a perfectly good bed. _If it's perfectly good why did you get a new one?_ Terra had questioned. No one remembers if the bluenette ever gave him an answer that wasn't "shut up, Terra".

Ven smiled to himself.

"What're you thinking about?" came Roxas' voice from somewhere in the room. Ventus hadn't even noticed movement from the other boy, eyes flickering to the double bed under the window. The older twin just blinked, watching his brother start discarding the sweater he had on.

"Nothing," he answered, though he knew Roxas would know he was lying. Everyone knew that 'nothing' in this context meant 'lots of things' or 'everything'. Ventus couldn't lie to his brother if he tried anyway. "It's just... I kind of envy Terra." Roxas' eyebrows furrowed as he tugged his jeans off next.

"Why?" he asked. "He's kind of slow and a bit of a jerk sometimes." Ventus chuckled a little; a hollow sound with no signs of true amusement. Roxas watched him, folding his clothes neatly and setting them at the foot of the bed.

"He's in love," the older of the two said. "It's unrequited, and probably going to do more harm than good if it stays that way, but at least he has someone to care about like that, you know? I'd settle for that if it meant being in love with someone." Roxas nodded slowly, moving in front of his brother, eyes on Ventus' downcast ones.

"You'll have your chance," he said, reaching to start unfastening the buttons keeping Ventus' shirt closed. "You don't need to envy Terra for chasing something that _he_ even thinks he'll never be able to have. You won't have to chase anyone." Ventus looked into his brother's eyes as the last button on his shirt opened, hands that looked so much like his own but still felt different pushing the fabric off of his shoulders.

"You think so?" he asked, his voice small. He stood still as Roxas continued to undress him, his pants being shoved down his legs as gently as the other blonde could manage. The younger stood straight again, tossing the jeans in his hands onto the floor next to his own clothes.

"I know so," he said, tugging Ven's arm and pulling him into his embrace, their skin brushing gently. "You're going to find someone, and you're going to love the hell out of them, and they're going to love the hell out of you, and it'll all be picture-perfect because that's what you deserve after waiting for so long." Ventus smiled a little, resting his forehead in the crook of Roxas' neck. How was it that even when his brother said things that sounded like they were right out of a children's book (and thus really couldn't be accurately applied to his situation), he managed to make him feel so much better?

He shivered lightly as Roxas pressed a light kiss on his jaw, then another on his shoulder.

"Let's get into bed," the younger said. "We'll talk about it tomorrow. We'll go home, lock ourselves in your room, and talk about it, okay?" Ventus nodded against his brother's shoulder before lifting his head. Their eyes met and Roxas smiled, leaning to kiss the corner of his brother's lips. That seemed to be how their consoling conversations always ended. Ventus smiled back, albeit not as wide, before letting his brother pull him into bed.

"But what about Dem's party?" he asked, reaching to turn the light off again. Roxas' movements seemed to still as he thought for a second. He'd probably forgotten that he had other plans while promising to talk about Ventus' ordeal.

"Oh yeah," the younger said lamely. "I guess we'll have to talk after that, huh?" Ventus could see his brother's eyes in the small streaks of light coming in through the curtains—an eerie glow from the streetlamps illuminated his azure orbs. He looked concerned and apologetic. Ven reached to cup his brother's cheek and nodded.

"Sure," he said. "I know Dem's been planning this thing for weeks now. He'd be pissed if you didn't show up; Axel would be disappointed too." Roxas smiled in the soft light and nodded back. He was beyond thankful for Ventus' understanding and forgiving nature. If their roles were reversed, he'd probably say something to guilt-trip his twin. Yet another thing that made them their own distinct person.

"So what're you dressing up as?" Ven asked after a few minutes of laying in dark silence. Roxas shifted and pulled his brother closer to him, his body heat making Ventus feel more at ease.

"'m not sure yet," the younger mumbled, pressing his face into Ven's neck. "Are you going?" Ventus shrugged a bit, shifting closer to his brother, their legs tangling. He reached a hand up to brush through Roxas' hair, the younger seeming to almost purr at the touch.

"I don't think so," he whispered. "I don't have a costume or anything. I still have a lot of homework, too..." He blinked slowly, watching Roxas pull away enough to look him in the face, his eyes already half-lidded and hazy with sleepiness. Although they were twins, Ventus had to wonder if he was as beautiful as his brother. Part of him wanted to say _that's silly, you look identical, you fool_. At the same time, if he were as beautiful as Roxas, he'd probably have a lover by now too. But there he was, the third, the fifth, and sometimes the seventh wheel. It was only a matter of time (depending on whether or not Terra decided to grow a pair) before he became the ninth wheel.

The younger twin frowned. He knew what his brother was doing; that same_ I-want-companionship-but-don't-want-to-be-around-people_ thing. Ventus had always been the shy twin, but only recently had he started becoming somewhat of a hermit.

"You really think I'm going to let you sit around and think yourself into a depression?" Roxas asked, eyes narrowed in the low light. "You're going to that party, and you're going to have fun." Ventus snorted softly.

"Yes sir," he said sarcastically. The younger smiled again, that same sleepy beauty sifting through his features before he put his head back in its previous place in the crook of Ventus' neck.

"Good," he mumbled. "Now go to sleep."

-—-—-

The twins were awake by mid-afternoon.

Terra had barged into the room, all but screaming at them to get up and go home to get ready for Demyx's party lest they infect the guest bed with their "damn twincest germs". His response was a prompt beating by the blondes with a pair of pillows.

They reached the apartment around 4 PM, pushing the door open and stepping into the place just in time to see Sora running naked from the kitchen to the hallway, letting out a very incoherent yelp that sounded something like "don't look I'm naked!".

"Sora, we've seen you naked a million times," Roxas said with a roll of his eyes. "It's nothing new."

"It's new when you just show up out of nowhere and see me walking from the kitchen in the buff," the brunette yelled from his room. His pout could be heard. "You guys spooked me."

"That goes along perfect with tonight's festivities, don't you think?" Ventus asked, giving Sora a light slap on the ass as he passed his room (Sora had a habit of leaving his door wide open), making the other boy yelp again, his cheeks taking on a furious shade of crimson. Roxas snickered and did the same, only to receive a punch to the shoulder.

"If you two are done sexually harassing me," the brunette huffed, following them into Roxas' room, "maybe you'd like to tell me what you're dressing up as for the party." Roxas was already rifling through his closet.

"Ven wasn't planning to go, so he's got nothing at this point," he informed the (now only half-naked) brunette. "I was going to be something special for Axel, but I'm sure I can find some other time to wear what I had in mind." Ventus and Sora looked at each other, mirroring expressions that screamed_ too much information_. "So we're going to do a really generic twin costume and dress up as each other."

"That is going to screw with so many people's minds," Sora said, his eyebrows risen. "Me likes this idea."

"Now that that's settled," Roxas said, tossing some clothes onto his bed before looking at the brunette leaning against his desk. "Are you going to shower or something? Or do you just happen to enjoy running around the house au naturale?" Sora scrunched up his face.

"I got out of the shower a little while before you guys came in," he said. "I was getting a snack... Riku's coming over again soon."

"I'm surprised he even left," Ventus said, looking over each article of clothing his brother tossed towards him, pulling a pair of jeans aside. "Sometimes I think he might as well live with us too."

"What are you even talking about?" Sora asked. "Axel's here more than Riku is!"

"Why are we arguing about this?" Roxas asked. "Go get dressed, Sora. And you," he said, pointing at his brother, "go get some of your preppy clothes for me to wear." Both other boys huffed as they left the room, their voices hushed but loud enough for Roxas to hear.

"Jeez, he's so controlling sometimes," Sora said.

"I swear he was born to be a dictator," Ventus added.

Riku had gotten to the apartment around 6:30. He was dressed almost completely different than normal; his hair was tied back into a messy ponytail and he had a pair of glasses perched on his nose. His white collared shirt was rolled up to the elbows and had the two top buttons undone revealing a thin silver necklace that Roxas recognized as the matching couples' jewelry the silverette and Sora had. His khaki pants were held up by his usual silver-studded belt and he had on dress shoes. There was a thick meter stick in his hand.

"What the hell are you supposed to be?" Roxas asked, his eyebrow risen. Riku smiled a little, stepping inside.

"A hot teacher," he answered. "Sora suggested it."

"And it was the perfect idea to go with my costume," the brunette said with a wide smile, bounding up behind the blonde. "Nothing says 'perfect pairing costume' like the hot teacher and naughty student combo." The brunette's boyfriend only chuckled, leaning his meter stick against the wall long enough to straighten Sora's tie.

"As good as that is," Roxas started, "I'm afraid Ven and I have you two beaten in terms of 'perfect pairing costume'." He was admiring himself in the mirror near the door. He couldn't see his whole outfit now, but when he had earlier, he couldn't deny that his brother's clothes looked good on him. Sure, the pants were a bit tighter and Ventus wore hideous textiles like plaid and argyle (the latter of the two being what he'd picked out for Roxas to wear), but Roxas was seriously considering buying himself a dress shirt or two in the near future.

"I'll admit it," Riku said, crossing his arms over his chest, "dressing up as each other is a pretty clever idea."

"Yeah, I wonder how many people will actually be able to tell you two apart," Sora said, tucking his shirt in quickly (which Riku also decided to fix). "You switched arm bands and everything." Roxas shrugged, fixing the black-on-white wrist band on his left arm.

"With costumes such as this, every little detail counts," he said. And they did count. Roxas had even made a mental note to borrow a tube of mascara from Kairi. Ventus' eyelashes were longer than his.

The intercom buzzed loudly, catching everyone's attention.

_Sora? Rox? Ven? It's Kairi. Let me up._

Without having to think, Sora walked over to the intercom and pressed the 'open' button. Ventus appeared from around the corner, eyes slightly wide as he zipped up the sweater his brother had given him to wear.

"Who was that?" he asked, ruffling his own hair gently.

"Kairi," Sora answered. "She's coming up." Ven nodded bit before taking in the brunette's costume, then looking behind him at Riku.

"Are you guys a teacher and a student?" he asked. Sora nodded enthusiastically (maybe a little too enthusiastically considering the utter and complete sexual reasoning behind his and his boyfriend's costumes). The knock at the door gave him a reason to busy himself and not think about how much use Riku was probably going to put to that meter stick later that night. He answered the door and was met by Kairi with a huge pair of sunglasses on her face.

"Oh my God, Ventus are you Roxas?" she asked, a huge grin breaking out over her small face as the older twin let her inside. The blonde only nodded, laughing a little.

"Clever, right?" he said. "It was Roxas' idea last-minute." He looked down at himself, taking in the sight of himself in his brother's clothes. The pants were a little uncomfortable at first, but he was starting to get used to them. He had to admit that the short-sleeved zip-up sweater he had on was very comfortable (and had his brother's distinct scent on it, which would be enough to keep him at ease for the night), and the white-on-black wristband and black and white rings his brother seemed to wear religiously didn't look ridiculous on him like he'd thought they would.

"Who are you supposed to be?" Sora asked, head tilted and eyebrow risen at Kairi's costume. She was dressed in a pair of designer jeans and a glittery top. A matching necklace-bracelet set adorned her neck and wrist, as well as other silver accessories here and there. She also had a purse with a stuffed chihuahua's head poking out under her arm.

"Paris Hilton," she said with a small smile, her eyes hidden still. "Selphie's Nicole Richie." Sora's eyes widened a bit and he grinned.

"That's a good one!" he beamed.

"It seems all of us did pairing costumes," Riku said, pulling his glasses off long enough to brush his bangs out of his eyes.

"But everything works out, right?" Ven asked, peeking his head into the living room. He and Roxas had been nit-picking at each others' costumes, mumbling things like "I wouldn't wear this like this" and the like. Kairi glanced at them again.

"Everyone is going to hate you guys tonight," she said, setting her over-sized shades atop her auburn crown. "Not everyone can tell you two apart like we can." And it was true; the only people who seemed to be able to tell the twins apart no matter what were Sora, Riku, Kairi, Axel, and Zexion. And of course, Terra and Aqua. Even Demyx got them confused sometimes. There were a lot of distinct differences between them, though, if you knew them long enough to learn them. Or just squinted really hard.

Roxas' voice was generally softer than Ventus', though the younger twin had the bigger potty mouth. Even though their hairstyles were virtually the same, Ventus' hair always seemed to be neater. Roxas was more social; Ventus was better at video games; Roxas was a better cook. Roxas had a small mole behind his left ear, and another near the middle of his chest; Ventus only had one on the side of his neck. They shared the same birthmark—a small patch of discoloured skin on the inside of their right forearms. But those were some of the obvious—more or less—details.

"Halloween's supposed to be fun, right?" Ventus asked before shrugging. "This will be fun."

-—-—-

Demyx's house was already packed by the time they got there. He'd answered the door after they rang the bell about four times, immediately inviting them in. It took him all of ten minutes to realize "Oh my God you guys are each other!" before he all but disappeared somewhere—probably to keep his guests from destroying his house.

When Axel had finally found them, he'd mistaken Ventus for Roxas—much to Ven's discomfort and embarrassment, and Roxas' utter amusement—and almost had a conniption upon realizing "You're dressed as each other!". To say the least, Roxas didn't let him live it down because even _Demyx_ was able to tell them apart.

Sora and Riku's costumes seemed to be popular among everyone—especially after Riku had made a spectacle of spanking the brunette with his meter stick because Sora had accidentally spilled a beer on him.

Ventus had spent most of the night at his brother's side, confusing the hell out of a lot of people and loving it. When Roxas disappeared with Axel—something about him looking absolutely molestable in his brother's clothes (which didn't make much sense to Ventus because essentially, he _was_ his brother in his clothes)—he was left to 'fend for himself, watching the party-goers as he sipped on something that he was sure was supposed to be blue-raspberry punch but was most likely spiked by the host himself.

There had been about six times people had mistaken him for his brother, and for a while, he made a game out of it to see how many more times it would happen before the party died out. He was at eleven.

It was right around midnight when he started to get bored. Everyone else had disappeared—he hadn't seen his brother again since he had disappeared with his boyfriend, Riku and Sora had disappeared as well, and it wasn't like he could tail Demyx while the older male looked after his house. Tagging along with Kairi was completely out of the question at this point; she was busy chatting up some guy Ventus had never seen before. It was at that moment he realized he hadn't even _seen_ Zexion.

He was ready to head home. The loud music, with its bass making his entire body vibrate, and drunken college students could only be so entertaining for so long. He knew his brother was busy—probably getting screwed senseless in one of the bedrooms; he made a mental note to possibly burn the clothes his brother had—but he decided it was better to leave him a message anyway.

_The party got boring; I'm heading home. Be careful on your way, or message me if you'll be crashing at Dem's._

Stepping out onto Demyx's porch, Ven breathed in the night air. It was still warm even after the sun had been out of the sky for so many hours.

He wished he had decided to take his car. Everyone decided it was better to walk since it was so nice out. That, and Ventus' nor Roxas' cars would have been able to fit everyone and taking both cars would've been kind of silly. Or so it seemed at the time. It wasn't a very long walk anyway—twenty-five minutes at best if Ven walked normal speed.

The streets seemed to be packed with people, and Ventus found himself wondering why before he remembered _oh yeah, it's Saturday night_. He didn't get out very much, aside from when he went out with Roxas and company or with Terra and Aqua—who he'd seen briefly at the party; they seemed to disappear too after another chorus of "Oh my God you're dressed as Roxas!" Ventus made a mental note to ask Terra where they'd gone off to.

When he'd finally reached the apartment, it was past one in the morning. His phone buzzed in his pocket as he was unlocking the door, tossing his keys onto the small table in the corner. He read the message quickly.

_Be safe, bro! I'll get Axel to drive me home tomorrow. No staying up! Go to sleep!_

If how accurate Roxas' spelling was didn't tip off that he was drunk, his extensive use of exclamation points certainly did.

-—-—-

After a shower and a small snack that consisted of an apple turnover (he liked sweets more than Roxas did) and milk, Ventus retreated to his bedroom.

He didn't feel like sleeping just yet, though. His homework was out of the question-it would have to wait until tomorrow like he'd originally planned. One in the morning was prime time for all the porn channels Axel had somehow _accidentally_ subscribed them to, but he wasn't really in the mood for that. Everything else was either re-runs or infomercials or...

Dating service ads.

Ven knew that Roxas said they would talk about it, and from there, they'd probably figure out a better way to go about handling it (you know, since Ventus had no idea what he was doing). But his brother was at Demyx's house, in one of Demyx's bedrooms, getting banged by his boyfriend, possibly with or without Ventus' clothes on (he shuddered internally every time he thought about it). And there was the commercial, putting thoughts into his head again. And there was Ven, mouth full of apple turnover, listening to each and every one of those thoughts. He took a gulp of his milk as he watched the couple on the screen.

He knew they were only acting for the sake of the commercial, but he still couldn't help the way his heart seemed to sink into his stomach. He glanced at his sleeping computer out of the corner of his eye.

_A little searching around couldn't hurt_, he thought to himself.

Right?

-—-—-

Amber-coloured eyes glowed gold as they scanned over the list on the computer screen before them. A long slender finger glided over the finger pad, making the page scroll up. His face was cupped in his palm, elbow propped on the desk.

The message boards had gotten boring lately. Sure he'd made friends there and talked to them on a regular basis, but he wanted to have some fun. Nearly 2 AM on a Saturday, and no means of entertainment. Vanitas was disappointed.

He looked through various profiles of people he didn't know before promptly pressing the 'add friend' button. That was the point, after all; meeting people you didn't know. It was a lot more fun than going out and trying to meet people—though that had its advantages as well. He migrated back to the main page after lingering on someone's profile, actually taking the time to read—more like barely skim through—their bio. They were interesting enough, he guessed.

As soon as the list popped up again, his eyes flickered to the top. The username_ waywardwind_ caught his attention. He clicked.

"They must be new," he mumbled to himself. Their profile was bare with the exception of their age, location, gender, and all that other standard crap. And the profile picture—the classic aerial self-shot. He clicked again, enlarging the photo, and was met with large blue eyes framed by dark eyelashes—the bluest eyes he'd ever seen. The kid's hair was messy and blonde, set in an array of upwards swept spikes that all but defied gravity (not that Vanitas was one to talk with his head of hair). His pink lips were slightly parted, his skin glowing in the flash of his camera. To say the least, the kid was good-looking; cute, even.

Vanitas clicked the 'add friend' button.

* * *

**A/N:** he has emerged! yes, as promised i finally brought van into the story. now is when things will get interesting... i hope.


	4. IV: First Encounter

**KALEIDOSCOPE**

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******Pairing:** Vanitas/Ventus (a bit of Axel/Roxas, Riku/Sora and Zexion/Demyx on the side, but not much)

**Summary:** Ventus is lonely but wants companionship outside of the people he sees on a daily basis; a dilemma that he labels with his own self-proclaimed prudiness. He's embarrassed at the idea, but considers joining an online dating site and with the help of a few of his friends, he begins his venture into the world of usernames and faceless conversations. After meeting a few people he comes across one person he can't seem to get enough of. Little does he know, it's the beginning of his own unhealthy obsession.

**A/N:** i edited this chapter 'cause i think i rushed it and in turn, didn't write it very well. i also got some really great concrit from** XaccemFlare** so i tried to take it into consideration while modifying. this is better, i hope.

* * *

**IV: First Encounter  
**

* * *

Ventus had fallen asleep at his computer—well, on it. The imprint of the keyboard was fresh against his cheek as he sat up at his desk, his back aching in protest. Somewhere between finally choosing a display photo of just himself—most of the pictures he actually kept were ones with with Roxas—and trying to think up a short bio that didn't sound cheesy, lame, or like he was looking for sex friends, he had passed out.

Tapping the finger pad, the screen of his laptop came to life. The clock read 12:27 PM. He'd been out for a little under ten hours. He rubbed at his face tiredly, yawning wide and running a hand through his slightly mussed hair. He found it kind of amusing that he'd managed to close all of the windows he had open before he fell asleep on his computer; unless of course, his face closed them.

That would've been funnier.

Opening up a new web browser, Ventus had to go through his internet history to find the site again. _I should bookmark it_, he thought to himself. He watched the page pop up, feeling a wave of something that felt like embarrassment flow through him as he signed in with ease, like he'd been on the site for months as opposed to less than twenty-four hours. It felt like one of those situations where you became what you hate. Except Ventus had tried something he told himself he would never try. But it wasn't like he was totally against social networking, so was it the same thing? Only awake for ten minutes and already thinking too hard; he was on a roll.

Clicking on the _My Account_ link in the navigation, his mouth fell open.

Between the moment he'd passed out and the moment he woke up, Ventus had somehow managed to make 59 new friends; his message inbox read "new messages (18)". How anyone could determine they wanted to talk to him solely based on his less than impressive profile page, he wasn't sure—all he'd filled in so far was the minimal basics. Glancing through the list people who had added him, his eyebrows rose a little. Most of them were girls—not that he really expected different. In that minute and a half it took him to scroll through all 59 screen names—some more ridiculous than others—he realized that this site had all sorts of different people. When Ven thought 'dating site' he thought about middle-aged singles who were desperate for attraction before they lost their spark completely. This site wasn't a dating site specifically, but he figured people hooked up regardless.

He made a mental note to go through the list again later and possibly follow some of them back.

He could hear movement through the walls of the apartment; Roxas and/or Sora were probably back from Demyx's house. Yawning again and shutting the lid of his laptop, Ven stood, taking note of the way his back cracked after sleeping hunched over his desk all night. Roxas' clothes were discarded in a pile on the floor; he'd just dropped them there after coming out of the shower, too bent on distracting himself from his thoughts to care. He made a mental note to wash his twin's clothes sometime in the near future, stepping over the small heap of fabric and kicking it further into the room before exiting.

Roxas' door was closed which meant the younger twin was either not home yet, or still sleeping. Sora's door was ajar and the blonde could hear soft mumbling that sounded like Riku on his phone. Upon walking out into the main area of the apartment, Ventus was met with the sounds and smells of a super-late breakfast being prepared. He turned into the kitchen to see Sora hovering over something on the stove. His eyebrows furrowed a bit.

"Hey Sor," he said softly, trying not to spook the other boy. He knew Sora was a little... How should he put it? Sora was easily excited, and in turn, easily scared. Although Roxas seemed to like taking advantage of that fact, Ventus always tried his best to approach him gently. The brunette turned to him before a small smile appeared upon seeing the other boy enter the room.

"Hey," he said back. "Where did you go last night? I was looking for you and Rox." Ventus almost snorted. He was not looking for them; he was busy getting spanked by Riku. He suppressed an internal shudder at the thought.

"Roxas disappeared with Axel," he said, leaning against the counter. "I got bored once everyone went off with their significant others, and I wasn't about to hang around Kairi while she flirted with some guy." Sora watched him as he moved to the fridge and looked inside, nibbling on the end of the fork he was using to make what Ventus discovered was scrambled eggs.

"Yeah," he mused. "Apparently he was some guy from Radiant Garden; he seemed pretty okay when she introduced me to him. I don't remember his name, though. She claims she plans to go out with him next week... But enough about Kairi's love life!" He turned back to the stove, turning the burner under the frying pan off and muttering something that sounded like "crap" upon noticing that the eggs were about a minute away from being too well done. Ven turned to the brunette again, his hands running over the fuzz of a peach he'd found in the fridge.

"Is Roxas home yet?" He bit into the peach.

"No," the brunette replied, scraping the eggs onto a plate. "The last time I saw him was last night." He must've spaced out because the next thing Ven knew, Sora was resting a hand on his shoulder, looking at him with a slightly concerned expression. "You alright, Ven?"

"I'm fine," he said. "I just need to talk to Roxas, that's all." The brunette nodded before smiling, his plate of eggs in hand.

"Yeah, I understand that whole twin telepathy thing you two have," he said.

If it were anyone else, Ventus would've immediately said something along the lines of _you're not a twin how could you possibly know what it's like?_ But he knew that Sora was almost as close to Roxas as he was was, if only for the fact that the blondes were brothers. They were so close they had matching tattoos—a small crown on the inside of their left wrists. Roxas' explanation had been that it was the closest they could get to having matching birthmarks, which was something he and Ventus had. That's how close they were. Ventus had felt a small bout of jealousy at first—not so much that there was someone who knew his brother almost as well as he did, but that Roxas had someone other than him to be that close to—that relationships like that existed outside of being a twin. Ven had been best friends with Terra and Aqua for years; they had gone through a lot together since they met in middle school. But he wasn't so sure they were _that_ close. Or ever would be.

"Yeah," was all the blonde managed to get out, eyes floating along the edge of the countertop. Sora gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze before heading for the door that led to the hallway. Ven didn't say anything as the brunette left, fishing around in his pajama pants pocket for his phone, pulling up his message history with his brother. He held the peach between his teeth so he could type.

_Where are you? I need to talk to you; it's important._

Ventus locked his phone after it made a small jingling noise, signalling that the message had been sent and pocketed the device again. He could feel peach juice dribble down his chin. Wiping at his face with the sleeve of his pajama top, he recalled the previous night's events in as great detail as his sleepy less-than-hungover mind would allow him to.

After going to Demyx's party dressed up as his twin brother and confusing the hell out of a bunch of people—which actually served to be pretty entertaining—he'd left after everyone seemed to disappear. Even Terra and Aqua were scarce—he saw them for like, thirty seconds before they disappeared too. Within the next hour, he had left and when he had gotten home, his intentions were actually to just sleep everything off; the alcohol he'd consumed, the impending migraine brewing in the dark corners of his mind, and the rapidly growing sadness that seemed to be wrapping itself around his ribcage and constricting it. But then he had started thinking and before he knew it he had started looking up dating sites.

He had thrown his embarrassment and paranoia and whatever else had been hindering him from following through with his initial curiosity out through the figurative window in his mind and pulled up a search engine. After roughly fifteen minutes of looking for something—anything that wasn't the kind of site where your profile sounded like a classified ad in a newspaper and people talked about liking long walks on the beach—he came across a site called _Kingdom Court_. It sounded like a lame fantasy RPG more than it sounded like a site to meet people. In the middle of the sign-up procedure, he'd had a sudden bout of doubt. Had he really made up his mind to join that chat site out of pure interest, or because he felt like he needed to try and fill whatever gaps being without romantic interaction for his entire life while he watched his best friends fall in love and be happy in love had created in his heart and in his mind? He probably knew well enough last night, but after thinking about it again, he wasn't so sure.

He spat the peach pit out and threw it into the garbage, moving to leave the kitchen when his phone went off in his pocket. Digging the device out of its flannel confines for the second time, he checked the screen. A text from Terra asking where he'd gone off blonde frowned. He'd tried to be as inconspicuous as possible when he left, yet everyone seemed to notice when he'd disappeared. He had a feeling Roxas had been expecting him to leave, but he didn't think anyone else would think anything of it. Staring at the _You're doing okay, right?_ at the end of the message, he answered his friend with a classic "I'm fine" and waited. It wasn't a total lie; he had made it home in one piece so he figured that was enough to qualify as "fine". As much as he appreciated the concern, sometimes it was annoying. Luckily, Terra knew when to back off_. _

Their text conversation went on and Terra brought up the topic of Ventus' hypothetical friend again, spawning that wave of embarrassment and idiocy Ventus had worked so hard to cover. Now he was regretting his irrationality (which might not have even been all that irrational, Ventus just had a habit of overreacting sometimes—from last night. Terra's nonchalant response to his immediate displeasure when the brunette made it known that he'd told Aqua about Ven's friend and his problem made a lump grow in Ventus' throat. The absolute_ last thing_ he wanted was for people to know. If it weren't for the fact that Terra didn't know it was actually him he was talking about the other day, the blonde would've blown up at him by now. His friends wouldn't judge him, he knew, but that didn't necessarily mean they had to know about everything that went on with him. That was Roxas' job.

_Don't worry, she's the only person I told._ Ven rolled his eyes. _Oh yeah, real comforting,_ he thought to his relief, the conversation had taken a turn in a less-embarrassing path once he'd changed the subject to something revolving around Terra instead. The blonde had always prided himself on being somewhat of a pro subject-changer. Terra didn't answer his last text, instead opting to call. He held his breath as Terra spoke, telling him about how he'd almost told Aqua again. The blonde's heart constricted. He would've been surprised, maybe, if Terra hadn't _almost_ told Aqua how he felt on about three other occasions. Sometimes he wasn't sure he really understood the magnitude of Terra's problem. After all, Ventus had never been in love. But ironically, being the loveless friend meant he was the one who was, by some weird twist of fate, able to give the best relationship advice. He was the go-to friend; the friend who always listened.

"It'll happen soon, Terra," he said. "I know it will. The timing just wasn't right this time around. You'll know when it is, though. And everything will fall perfectly into place." He was suddenly reminded of that pep talk Roxas had given him two nights ago._  
_

Their conversation didn't last much longer than that, Ventus getting the idea that Terra needed some time to himself.

On the way back to his room, he got a text from Roxas.

_I'm with Axel; I'll be home in a few hours. You can hang on until then, right Ven? _He almost didn't reply.

_Sure._

-—-—-

It was hard to focus on his homework with his computer sitting less than five feet away from him, but Ventus had managed to somehow.

He'd decided to himself that he would wait to talk to Roxas like his twin promised they would; wait to do any more than he already had, at least. He'd been feeling something akin to guilt all afternoon, attempting to drown out his thoughts of self-contempt with schoolwork. Maybe he didn't need to feel bad about not waiting on his brother. If them talking had been first priority for Roxas, he wouldn't have been at Axel's place. Ventus frowned at himself.

_Always thinking negatively,_ he thought before pushing everything that didn't involve variables and square roots to the back burner of his brain. _It can wait until later, Ven._

At some point while trying to complete his calculus work, Ventus heard his door open quietly.

"Figures you'd be in here working," Roxas said with a small smile as he shut the door behind himself again. He took a seat on Ventus' bed, waiting for him to finish up whatever he was doing. Ven set his pencil down, turning to his brother slowly, his eyes immediately falling to a bright blotch of red half hidden under the collar of Roxas'—his—shirt. _Ew._ "...What's wrong?"

"Remember when you said we would talk? About everything?" Ventus asked, playing with his fingers before bringing a hand up to his mouth, nibbling at his middle fingernail. He didn't know why he was subjecting himself to his nervous habit; he'd already made up his mind. Roxas rose an eyebrow.

"Yes..." he replied. "What about it?"

"I skipped ahead. Just a bit." Ventus dropped his hand from his mouth as his brother gave him a weird look—the one he used when Ven was rambling excessively or trying to dance his way around something. Clearly, he was doing the latter. The older twin looked at his younger brother, face laced with apprehension. He still felt bad._ Damn guilty conscience._ Ventus frowned. Why was it so hard to tell his brother, the person he told literally everything to, that he'd looked up and joined a chat site? "I joined a site. A dating site. Well, not a dating site, it's more like a chat site but I guess I could meet someone there if I'm lucky but the fact of the matter is—"

"Ventus!"

"What?"

"You're rambling."

"...Sorry."

Roxas blinked at his brother, and Ventus blinked back.

"So uh," the older twin started, rubbing the back of his hair. "Aren't you going to say something?" Roxas sighed softly, his expression softening a bit.

"Well, I'm a little disappointed," he answered, shifting to lay on his back, eyes pointed at the ceiling. "I thought we were gonna talk about it. I didn't expect you to just... act impulsively. You never do that." Roxas' eyes landed on his brother.

"I know, Rox," he whispered. "I was just thinking a lot last night; thinking too much again. And I don't know... It was like reaching a breaking point or something. I felt bad that I did anything before we talked, but at the same time I kind of feel like you put me at the bottom of your priority list. I didn't feel like waiting around anymore." He was a terrible person. Roxas had a _boyfriend_ for God's sake. He wasn't obliged to Ventus. Roxas sat up with a frown and reached for Ven's arm, tugging him onto the bed with him.

"I get it, Ven," he said, sliding his arm around his brother's waist, touching their heads together gently. "And I'm sorry about putting you off until the last minute." They were silent again and Roxas laced their fingers, squeezing his brother's hand. "Look, I'm all for you trying to find companionship; it's something you need. I just... want you to be careful." Ventus blinked slowly, watching his brother's face as he spoke. His expression was a mix between serious and sympathetic.

"I will be," he said softly. "I know all about that internet safety junk that they practically drilled into our heads in high school..." Roxas quirked his mouth, eyes downcast at their hands.

"It isn't even about that," he said, turning his head to look Ven in the face. "We're in college; we're responsible for ourselves so I won't even go anywhere near that internet safety crap. I know you're not an idiot; hell, everyone knows you're the overachiever between the two of us. But you're... delicate; emotionally, of course. Especially since you've never really..."

"Been in love," Ventus finished, voice small. Roxas nodded mutely, watching his brother's expression as Ven played with his pinkie. "I don't even know much about it and it's something I want... Is that weird?"

"Not really," the younger said. "Sometimes curiosity gets the better of people, but you... You have romantic ideals, so I think you'll be okay. You're just fragile. I don't think it would take much for someone to hurt you, and I'd rather not see you heartbroken." He poked Ventus' cheek. His brother turned to look at him, shifting onto his side.

"I need to stop safeguarding myself," he murmured. "All I do is use self-contradictions to keep myself from getting hurt. I want companionship, but I don't like people; it's just a socially awkward way of saying I don't want to get hurt. I have a fear of rejection." Roxas nodded slowly as Ven lowered his head onto his shoulder, rubbing small circles on the older boy's upper-arm. Of course Roxas knew these things—he was the first person to tell Ventus that his approach to socializing was stupid.

They laid there in silence for a while longer before Roxas moved to sit up, making Ven go with him. "So now that we've established that you want friends, but not friends here... Explain this not-really-a-dating-site to me." Ventus pursed his lips in thought before speaking.

"It's not a dating site by definition," he started. "It's not one of those things where you list your hobbies or talk about yourself in that cheesy personal ads kind of way so that you can find your perfect match or whatever. It's more like... Like a forum, almost. People create chatrooms and you pretty much just hang out and talk to whoever's in there. There are basic profiles, but it doesn't go much past the pure basics." He blinked at Roxas as he spoke, his twin nodding slowly.

"Alright," he said. "Give me the computer; lemme see what you've got so far." Ventus frowned a bit, the shape of his lips almost a dramatic pout. He'd kind of forgotten to mention that as a means of attempting to curb his guilt, he decided he wasn't going to do anything—which meant talk to any one or (of course) do anything to his profile. He reached over to his desk, picking up his laptop and tossing it onto the bed gently; Roxas opened the lid and woke the system up. Ventus wasn't really sure it was a good thing that his brother knew his password, but it seemed like every time he changed it, Roxas would figure it out again. He watched silently as his brother navigated to his profile, frowning when the younger twin's eyebrows rose.

"There's nothing here, Ven," he said, an amused tinge to his voice. "Did you chicken out after all?" Ventus wrinkled his nose.

"I told you that I wanted to wait!" he all but wailed. "I was in a bit of emotional turmoil over the whole ordeal, okay?" Roxas burst into a fit of laughter, pushing at his brother's shoulder as he shushed him loudly.

"Okay, okay stop yelling," he managed between bouts of laughter. "Do you want Sora to come in here and see what's going on?" Ventus made a face.

"The last time I saw him he was on his way to feed Riku scrambled eggs." They glanced at each other and wrinkled their noses, starting up into another round of laughs. Somewhere in between, they had taken the time to go through the messages Ventus had received upon signing up for the site. Aside from the expected "welcome to the site" message, there were a slew of messages telling Ventus how "hot" he was or that he was "seriously cute".

"Well, it's a good start," Roxas said, opening another message. It was the same thing. "Seriously though, you need a bio or something. You've gotta keep people interested now that you know your face attracts attention." Ven rose an eyebrow, rolling back onto his stomach after spending the latter half of the time Roxas spent opening his messages staring at the ceiling.

"You know, given the fact that we're twins, that could be interpreted as vanity," he said, looking up at his brother. "I didn't know what to put." He stared at his blank profile thoughtfully. "I didn't want to write anything that sounded desperate or pathetic." Roxas rolled his eyes.

"You're neither of those things, so shut up." Roxas started typing, and within minutes—about ten, maybe—he'd written a brief bio for his brother.

_A college sophomore, a twin, and a best friend. I'm a little shy—more like slowly becoming totally and completely socially inept, but I'm friendly enough, I guess. Currently residing in Hollow Bastion, but native to Twilight Town. Alternately sweet and bratty. A little obsessive when I get into something. A little moody. Sometimes a little cold, but always warm and comforting when it's needed. Stubborn. Infinitely loving. Don't hesitate to talk to me.  
_

There were other things mentioned like his hobbies, his favourite bands, and the like. Roxas had even taken the liberty of stating that he was both single and bisexual. It all sounded so cheesy when he read it in his head, but it was better than nothing.

None of it had happened the way Ventus envisioned. He kind of imagined himself pouring his heart out to his brother—and possibly ending up in tears; not laughing to mute his insecurities. Sure, Roxas knew about the feeling of perpetual loneliness that Ventus had seemed to start feeling around the end of high school—maybe even before that. But he was sure the younger twin was oblivious to the finer details. Like envying his and Sora's relationship; Ventus had never sent signals that would lead anyone to think that he wished he had someone other than his brother that knew him like their favourite song. There was the obvious dejection that came with the single in a group of couples, but there was so much more to it that Ventus wasn't sure anyone would truly understand.

Sadly, not even his brother.

After tweaking his bio a bit more and figuring out the HTML coding to make his profile look anything but that monotonous default white, Roxas made Ventus get out of the apartment, dragging Sora and Riku—who surprisingly (or maybe not) hadn't left—with them. They piled into Roxas' car and headed to a 7-11 nearby. A round of Slurpees and whatever other snacks they couldn't stop the spastic brunette from getting his hands on eventually carried them to an empty parking lot near a park. It was probably a little too late for them to be there, and for Sora to be talking and laughing so loud, and for the others to not shut him up. But for that hour they were disturbing the peace in the dark of the unlit park, it was like they were in high school again. Less to care about, less responsibility, less reality. And somewhere between the Mr. Twisty Roxas had given him and falling off of his swing face-up in a fit of girlish giggles, Ventus realized that he could be happy—if only for a little while—if he was distracted from his thoughts. If he couldn't find what he was looking for, he would have people to fall back on.

On the way back to the car, he wore an unguarded smile, linked arm-in-arm with his brother who was sandwiched between himself and Sora, Riku connected to the rest of them by holding Sora's hand. They weren't the closest circle of friends—Ventus could've made up his mind to see the situation from an outsider's point of view, but that would've been a waste of a good time. Once they were sure there was enough sugar in their systems and enough sand in their shoes, they headed back to the car and went home.

By the time they got back, it had reached 10 PM. How the hell Ventus had managed to spend his day on homework and having Roxas help him with his sorry excuse for a personal profile, he wasn't even sure. After Riku had went home, the twins and their brunette friend rode out the rest of their sugar high in Sora's room, cramped on his bed, telling bad jokes and laughing over them excessively. When they'd mellowed out, they migrated to the living room to flip through TV channels aimlessly. An hour passed and they'd been through all the channels at least four times.

"Are you heading to bed?" Roxas asked, azure eyes immediately looking to his brother's moving form as Ventus stood and stretched a little. He glanced at the clock; 12:48 AM. Ventus nodded a bit, feeling fatigue pulling at him.

"See you guys in the morning," he murmured, leaving the living room silently.

Roxas had run him down in the hall, stopping him just outside of his bedroom door, leaning against him heavily and whispering small words of encouragement before kissing the corner of his lips like always before shooing him to bed.

Finally behind a closed door, Ventus heaved a sigh. Glancing at his computer, he immediately set it back on his desk and situated himself in front of it, tapping the finger pad. The browser window was still up, and he realized he had more messages. A lot of them had been the same mindless praise on his looks; a department Ventus thought he was slightly mediocre in. Roxas was the attractive twin. It didn't make very much sense, but that's just how it was.

Deleting the messages without a second thought, Ventus navigated back to the main page, eyes scanning the message boards. It was really a lot of repeating—people stating they were bored and wanted to talk, asking for sexy conversation, attempting to buy people's attention with semi-nude photos of themselves. For the briefest of moments, Ventus wondered why he'd even signed up.

He was ready to close the window and shut his computer down; he really didn't feel like going back into his thoughts after having such a good evening. Except a little message box in the bottom right-hand corner of the screen had decided to pop up at the most convenient moment, making him furrow his eyebrows. He hadn't noticed the instant messaging tab before. His eyebrows raised a bit when he noticed he had even more messages there than in his private messages. Skimming through the messages he'd missed earlier that day—some with time stamps from mere minutes after he'd joined the site—he noticed a more recent one posted less than three minutes ago.

_**voidgear:** Don't pretty blondes like you need their beauty sleep?_

Ventus rose an eyebrow. As easily as he could've ignored the message and gone to bed, once again he fell prisoner to his own curiosity, clicking the little tab and watching the chat window pop up. The box was simple enough; a space to type, and above it, previously sent messages—standard instant messaging stuff. He could've engaged in a playful banter, and he'd really thought about it. But instead, he said the first thing that came to mind.

_**waywardwind:** I'm not pretty._ He blinked at the screen, his lips flattening into a thin line. He wasn't pretty. That was entirely too effeminate to describe him. _Riku_ was pretty. Ventus was... _Not_ pretty.

_**voidgear:** Sure you are.  
_

_**waywardwind:** I'm really not. I don't think pretty is the right word._

_**voidgear:** Oh? Then what is?_

_**waywardwind:** Average._

There was a gap between responses. Ventus wondered if the guy had gotten bored and left. He wouldn't have been surprised. He'd somehow gotten kind of ('kind of' meaning 'extremely') terrible at holding casual conversations with people around the end of high school. He'd gotten better since leaving Twilight Town to go to school in Hollow Bastion, but not by much. For the longest time he seemed to possess an uncanny ability to kill conversation by being hardheaded or generally uninteresting. He was also pretty good at making things awkward.

_**voidgear:** ...Right. _He stared at the screen again, unsure of what to say next. _  
_

_**voidgear:** Don't talk much, huh?_

_**waywardwind: **I do. I'm just new to the site.  
_

_**voidgear:** You'll be well-adjusted soon enough. Within a week, since you're so good-looking. _There it was again. This person who'd only ever seen one photo of him—and not even a good photo—was complimenting him._  
_

_**waywardwind:** You mean average._

_**voidgear:** I said what I meant. You don't like getting compliments or something?  
_

_**waywardwind:** Only when I don't think I deserve them.  
_

_**voidgear:** That isn't really how it works, but trust me, you deserve them. _Ven wrinkled his nose._  
_

_**waywardwind:** So what did you mean by "well-adjusted"?  
_

_**voidgear:** People here often add people upon judging what they look like. Since you're good-looking, you might inevitably become popular because you've got a nice face despite what your personality might be like. Unless you're a downright douche. It's a crappy system, but it's how it works for the most part.  
_

_**waywardwind:** I see...  
_

_**voidgear:** It's really a test to see who likes you for how you look versus who you really are. Superficial, sure. But it's a nice form of escapism.  
_

_**waywardwind:** ...What're you escaping from?  
_

_**voidgear:** Mm... A lot of things, actually. Too many to list. _Ventus blinked at the screen, suddenly feeling this weird surge of sympathy run through him._  
_

_**voidgear:** What about you? You got something to run from? Or are you here for fun?_

_**waywardwind:** Not exactly. It's a really long story, actually. An embarrassing one._

_**voidgear:** Really? Cute and has a backstory. Paint me intrigued.  
_

_**waywardwind:** You'll mostly laugh.  
_

_**voidgear:** Doesn't mean you're any less interesting.  
_

_**waywardwind:** I'll let you decide that for yourself some other time, I guess. I have class tomorrow.  
_

_**voidgear:** Alright. Just don't forget you owe me a story. _Ventus smiled a little, despite himself and how uncomfortable he felt behind his computer screen and how warm his face was because why on Earth was he blushing so hard?\_  
_

**waywardwind:** We'll trade.

_**voidgear:** Sure. Now go get your beauty sleep. Catch ya later._

_**waywardwind:** Bye._

Ventus closed the conversation box, eyebrows tightly knit in the middle of his forehead. That had to be the single most awkward conversation he didn't have face-to-face, and that said a lot considering some of the conversations he'd had over the phone with his drunken twin. It had only lasted a few minutes (that may or may not have turned into half an hour, which Ventus didn't intend to have happen), but he was sure it would still be on his mind when he woke up in the morning.

Shaking his head a bit and shutting his laptop down, he shuffled to his closet to change into some pajamas before climbing into bed, eyes immediately falling closed as he replayed the conversation in his mind. Someone out there—some random nameless, faceless person—thought he was above average. And interesting.

And for whatever reason, it made him feel... Nice.


End file.
